The Trigger Happy Trinx

FliRt.AleRt says:

oh yah i forgot..

FliRt.AleRt says:

stupid mp

@znur says:

i luff u woman..

FliRt.AleRt says:

for calling him stupid?!

@znur says:

cz i noe u always hve my back no matter hw stupid i can be

FliRt.AleRt says:

well we all make mistakes….

FliRt.AleRt says:

but still i think hes stupid.

FliRt.AleRt says:

heh…

@znur says:

why u tink hes stupid

FliRt.AleRt says:

coz he makes my friend sad

@znur says:

ok now ur gonna make me cry..

@znur says:

*darn*

FliRt.AleRt says:

he doesnt see what a great person u are

That was a short snippet of a conversation I had with Loos over the MSN earlier today. I luff that friend of mine. No matter what happens I know she has my back. She would always know what to say. You might think she doesn’t mean it, and just says it to make me feel better. But I know her better, and I know my Loos means what she says. And for that I thank her for being by my side.

Sometimes a girl need her BFFs by her side to bitch slap the person of interest that is making the other buddy feel down. I mean we are all human, its just human nature.

And sometimes, its small conversations like these that makes you realise that, ‘Hey, I am special. Even though some people are dense enough not to see it.’

*And I mean it Loos, you really did nearly made me cry with what you said. Guess I am loved by some other people after all.. Even though I am not loved by Him. I still feel lucky to know I am loved by many others.

Maybe I should try harder to pick myself up. Must try harder. 

But I always fail.. urgh.

I think I’m in the mood to post up songs that catches my fancy. Yet again, I discovered a song that just calms me down just by hearing it. I heard this song on the radio earlier today.

This song is a cover by John Mayer. The original singer was someone named Tom Petty. I have always loved songs by John Mayer. He is like the epitome of the cool guitar guy. There’s just something about him playing the guitar that is just so so cool & relaxed that it’s just automatically sexy! (yes, I am still besotted over guitar playing guys. Have always been that way since high school )

Anyways, this cover of the song by John is a perfect listen if you just wanna unwind after a hard day, or if you just wanna chill out next to the window on a cold rainy day and watch the raindrops trail down ur window panes.

Enjoy.

Free Fallin’

She’s a good girl, loves her mama
Loves Jesus and America too
Shes a good girl, crazy bout Elvis
Loves horses and her boyfriend too

It’s a long day living in reseda
There’s a freeway runnin through the yard
I’m a bad boy cause I don’t even miss her
I’m a bad boy for breakin her heart

And I’m free, free fallin,fallin
Yeah I’m free, free fallin,fallin

All the vampires walkin through the valley
They move west down ventura boulevard
And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows
And the good girls are home with broken hearts

And I’m free, free fallin,fallin
Now I’m free, free fallin,fallin
Free fallin, now I’m free fallin, now I’m
Free fallin, now I’m free fallin, now I’m

I wanna glide down over mulholland
I wanna write her name in the sky
Wanna free fall out into nothin
Gonna leave this world for a while

And I’m free, free fallin’
Yeah I’m free, free fallin’

Isn’t it just amazing how there are songs that EXACTLY emotes what you are feeling inside or the situation you are in?

Imeem Song file: Rehab

Rehab -Rihanna

Baby, baby
When we first met
I never felt something so strong
You were like my lover
And my best friend
All wrapped into one
With a ribbon on it
And all of a sudden
When you left
I didn’t know how to follow
It’s like a shot
That spun me around
And now my heart left
I feel so empty and hollow

And I’ll never give myself to another
The way I gave it to you
Don’t even recognize
The ways you hit me
Do you?
It’s gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you’re the one to blame

And now I feel like, oh
You’re the reason
Why I’m thinking
I don’t wanna smoke all
These cigarettes no more
I guess this is what I get
For wishful thinking
Should’ve never let you into my door
Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
Cause now I’m using like I bleed
It’s like I checked into rehab
Baby you’re my disease

It’s like I checked into rehab
Baby you’re my disease
I gotta check into rehab
‘Cause baby you’re my disease
I gotta check into rehab
‘Cause baby you’re my disease

Damn,
Ain’t it crazy
When you’re love swept?
You’ll do anything
For the one you love
‘Cause anytime
That you needed me
I’d be there
It’s like
You were my favorite drug
The only problem is
That you was using me
In a different way
That I was using you
But now that I know
That it’s not meant to be
You gotta go
I gotta win myself over you

Some men, or maybe alot of men have said at one point in their life, that ‘Looks are not important’.

“Its the heart that matters”..

And most times I would believe that hey, this guy is genuinely non-shallow.

Then, the shallowness would always surface somehow that would just discredit them. Yes, the shallowness would still be around even in the most nicest guys.

So never, ever, EVER, believe it when a guy says, “Looks don’t matter to me.. I pandang hati”…

BULLCRAP.

Men are naturally VISUAL in character. No matter what they say, looks are still what they would look for 1st.

THEN, they would take notice of your personality or disposition.

The total opposite compared to girls. The female of the species gets attracted to the good looking hunks with tight butts and all. No doubt about that.

BUT, we don’t place importance on it. We really don’t. We MEAN IT. We don’t just SAY it.

For a girl, personality & disposition comes 1st. Looks wise, as long as you are pleasant looking for us, on our own terms, then that’s good enough for us.

Yea sure, there are a handful of shallow biatches out there who places looks up on a pedestal.

But at the end of the day, we CHOOSE personality & disposition. A.k.a, YOU as a person.

Looks can only go so far. If you think a person’s personality is flake, have you ever taken notice of how YOU act with the so called flakey one?

Maybe it is YOU who is not being friendly enough. And hence you get the same reaction. Ever thought of that?

If only for once, the situation is reversed, then maybe the men folks would realise what it is like to actually like someone or be attracted to someone 1st & foremost for themselves.. and not for what they see.

Then maybe, just maybe.. the world would be a better place for a lot of ladies out there.

In lieu of my newfound sense of serenity & my long never see smile (the honest to goodness, ikhlas punya smile & not the senyum kambing type), I decided to do a little bit of shopping and have some ME time. I was supposed to go & watch Anuar Zain in concert with my collegue, FRONT ROW some more lehhh..

But when I msged her yesterday & tried to call, there was no response from her side. And you know how we girls have a keen sense of intuition to sense something is wrong? Well, that intuition was telling me that something is really wrong with her. That she might just be very very ill. True enough she called me earlier today to say she was hospitalised the last 4 days & that she can’t make it for the concert. The poor girl was apologising & saying sorry coz’ I had to miss the concert. I was like “I don’t care about the damn concert! I’m just glad you are better!..Concert all some other time we can go. Just GET BETTER WOMAN!”

The poor girl was admitted for her diabetes, and also maybe coz’ of the added stress she has for the pass month or so, her blood pressure has risen. Yet another reason for the doctor to keep her. Sighs..poor thing.

So, not wanting to be stuck at home, I decided I’m gonna wear nice nice and just go out. HE was complaining about being bored at home to earlier today coz’ his DATE cancelled and so HE’s planless (like seriously do I reaaaally have to know you nearly had a DATE!? Dolt!)

Aaaaaanyways, out I went. Spent about 2hrs at my most faaaaaaaavourite place in town, KINOKUNIYA!!

Yups, been so long since I had a chance to have some ME time to just do whatever I want and spend loads of time at the bookstore. Got myself 2books from there. 1 is a book called “He’s Just Not Into You” & another one called “It Just A DATE”. Both from the same authors. Now normally I am not into such self improvements & relationship stuff books. But the way the 2 books were written just draws you in to read it. Its light hearted & straight to the point, and HONEST. Honest but not insensitive. Hence why I didn’t think twice about getting both of it. Plus it answers the questions that I had.

Then I did some more massive destruction to my bank account with more shopping. Bought a few tops, pants, stuffs…. all I NEED ok!..

But I was glad. Coz’ I finally felt that I was being my own person again. That I am finally getting ME back.

I mean yeah, I was HALF expecting and hoping that HE mite decide to join me and hang out. Then I recoiled and thought to myself “what the hell are you thinking woman?!! this is your ME time & no man woman or watever is gonna spoil it for YOU!”

Boy did that worked. In fact the voice sounded like Loos voice.. :S

Anyways, decided to head home early & with a smile thanks to the time spent with ME & my pretty (bank account busting) purchases.

Don’t worry Loos.. all my bills are paid before I decided to do any damage. I just SO needed a break.

Now lets hope my strength would sustain tomorrow when I see him.

Yes, I am meeting him tomorrow. And another friend. We are going to some photography seminar at Suntec.

* Please Allah grant me the strength. Let me not crumble again..

Of all the advices I have received, the one that finally got thru to me & my thick skull was one that was from a Man.

He said, let the guy be. Maybe he’s shy,Maybe he’s unsure of his own feelings. Maybe it’s a thousand different things. But most importantly, You be YOU. Don’t do anything until HE initiates it.  Be independent. That’s when you would be worth it.

Let HIM step up and be a confident Man if he can. If he knows what he wants.

My new Pal even told me of a song that sums up the situation aptly and that gives me inspiration to be Strong.

Hehehe.. to think, the advise that I would finally take heed to comes from my new “Gal Pal”.. a married man who bakes & teaches!.. LOL.

But wise words should be listened to and taken into practice. So that’s what I would do. Just Be Me.

Now lets see whether He’s strong enough to be my man.. coz’ I KNOW I’m worth it.

(I feel a new found sense of confidence. Finally I have gotten my smile back.)

God..I feel like hell tonight
Tears of rage I cannot fight
I’d be the last to help you understand
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Lie to me
I promise I’ll believe
Lie to me
But please don’t leave

I am so in love with the sad morose sounding song. (The song below in the previous entry laa)

It is so sadly beauuutiful… Sedihnyaaaaaaaa… Tapi romantic!..TApi sedihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

Pergilah rinduku -(go away yearning)
Hilangkan dirimu -(make yourself scarce)
Tak sanggup menanggung -(can’t stand your affliction)
Derita dikalbuku -(this misery in my heart)

Rindu. A malay word that means longing. A word that also means yearning. A word that, both in the malay or english language, or maybe even any language, means the same thing the world around.

It means to miss something or someone so much. To yearn for it so immensely that your heart screams out for it.

And hence the word ‘Rindu’ is coined.

Even the sound of the word itself sounds very apt for what it is supposed to mean. (maybe its the ‘uuuu’ sound at the end of it eh?)

**Pergilah rinduku
   Hilangkan dirimu
   Tak sanggup menanggung
   Derita dikalbuku