I am feeling good now.

I think I have FINALLY, let go.

Ok ,maybe I should elaborate what I’m letting go. I have managed to let go of the idea and notion of wishing things would happen. Of maybe he is intrested in me but is confused.

Of telling myself, I won’t let myself be strung along.

Of not being so jealous or hard on myself if or when I see or hear him talk or with another girl.

Of finally, not caring for him THAT way.  And I have to say, it’s his loss. Definitely HIS loss.

(coz’ I would be one heck of a wonderfully great & not to mention, loving girl .. yes, masok bakul angkat sendiri.. abih no one wants to carry my bakul whaattttt! heee)

I guess the books I’ve read (and still reading), the support from my dear ones and not to mention words of encouragements & advices all helped. No, lemme rephrase, not I GUESS, I BELIEVE.

Like what I’ve told Loos, I’m a slow healer. I heal very very slowly when I’m hurt. But I WILL heal.

And I believe I have healed somewhat. Its healing somewhat, I am still wearing a bandage on my broken heart. But the wound is healing perfectly well.

I have started chatting with him again. Though its not everyday, I don’t care & I don’t get agitated when I don’t. Quite zen like I’ve becomed.

I believe what’s meant to be, will be. What Won’t, just WON’T.

And something Nuts said on saturday makes me feel a whole lot better about my decision.

She said,he sounds like a case of a really confused guy. He dunno what he wants, and he doesn’t see what he already has. Then one day when he finaly realises what is missing, what he lost, it might just be too late.

She also said, its quite a pity, coz’ not only her, but so many others seems to see that chemistry. But probably the best thing I have done was to let go. Coz’ waiting for him to make up his mind or be un-confused, or be ready enough to be even remotely commited, would just make me unhappy. And I deserve Happyness.

Now tell me, how can I not luff my 2 dearest so much eh?.. They can be sooooo lame & funny and yet so wise..

So yes folks, loyal readers of mine (all 5 of you… well ok it mite be lesser but whose counting ), I am healing!

And to commemorate my recovery, I bought for me self a silver charm bracelet thingey with the letter ‘A’ from Mintmark. It matches the one I gave my lil’ sis.. she bugged me to buy one of the same pattern so we both can have something same same..

And that damn piece of jewellery set me back $50 plus. Which also, incidently, my last 50bucks!.. hrmph.

Yes, I am penniless right now till my next pay, but I am happy enough.

I wanna Date! Coz’ dating is fun!.. I’m not saying I wanna “be on a potential husband manhunt” kinda date.. but more of a “I have a new person to get to know of & be friends with” Date.

So here is a formal declaration, If any of you know of any single, wonderfully witty & intelligent (and better still rich ) guys who wants to make more new friends, weeeeellllll, show em’ the way to me! LOL!

*now why do I suddenly regret saying that declaration… hrmmm.. :S..

**Clause: DO NOT PIMP ME OFF TO ANY TOM,DICK OR MAMAT YOU KNOW AH!